Inflamed Taste Buds

For the past few days, the left side of my tongue has been having this nagging pain and this is what I see in the mirror:
You know how neat and tidy your taste buds are usually arranged on your tongue right? Well suddenly 3 or 4 of them are poking out of line and look a little fatter than the rest. And these lil *&@^%# are causing me pain when I eat and brush my teeth.

This morning I got really worried and thought I could be suffering from some weird tongue disease. So I searched online and to my surprise, I'm not the only one in the world with havoc taste buds (whew).

Look at this (useful) story:

"A former co-worker had a reputation of being absent on Mondays or Fridays. She always had some lame excuse, but one day she called and said she could not come to work due to 'an inflamed taste bud on her tongue,' claiming this would prevent her from being able to speak or answer the phone. Some people will do anything to get out of work."

I should get more of these then I don't have to teach anymore :D


Daniel Nathan Reed, Associate Professor from the College of Dentistry, The Ohio State University said,

"Inflamed taste buds are very common. The primary reason for the change is usually trauma. This can be from hot, spicy, or hard foods that can cause local inflammation."

Eureka! Of course! Trauma from SCHOOL ADMIN!

"Biting your tongue is another very common cause. In 7-10 days, it should be back to normal. If not, contact your dental professional."

Er.... too lazy.....

I surfed on for home remedies and saw that

some
.

crazy
.
people
.
actually
.
BITE
.
off
.
their
.
taste
.
buds!!!

Another NUT CASE from a discussion forum:
"Should I clip off an inflamed taste bud with nail clippers?"

OH-AM-GEE!!! OUCHYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone else replied, "Yes, and cut out your entire tongue while your at it. Also, cut off all your fingers too, so you won't be able to use a keyboard anymore."

ROFL!!!!!

I'm NOT going to bite/clip off my taste bud thank you very much. Maybe it will go away soon.


Then another person said,
"hmm I don't know about that, I'm had an inflamed taste bud on my tongue for more than 7 years and its still there."

SEVEN FREAKIN YEARS!? Gimme that knife...

Another one: "I get those after eating salty foods, like fries or chips. Not much you can do until it pops!"

Huh? I never knew taste buds could pop!! Imagine how it feels like when the little buggers starting popping away - it'll be like eating those crackly candy which fizzles in your mouth.. pop.. POP... POP!




I wonder what comes out when they pop. Ewww.

I'm thinking about what happens to the taste bud after it's exploded/cut off. Will a new one grow back? Like a lizard's tail??? (You know how the new tail will look like.. it always looks funny and smaller and never quit fits the lizard anymore. Will the new buds look smaller than the rest??)

You know what.. I think if my buds are removed they will not grow back.

In fact the existing ones would commit suicide rather than face my mom's leftovers.

Choosing wedding photos rant

I have to RANT so *warning* long post ahead.

Yesterday I left school a bit earlier to choose our wedding photos from the bunch they took from our indoor and outdoor shoots. Before I left my married-with-kids colleague told me to stay firm and not get too easily swayed by their hard-sell tactics and fork out too much extra cash for additional wedding photos and then later regret it. I have heard stories about couples running into debt doing this whole wedding thing and needing to borrow money just so that they can pay. I can only say that those people are NUTS. If you can afford it go ahead. If not, don't make other ppl dig out money to pay for your wedding unless it's a gift from them. It's just irresponsible.

When we got there this was what happened.

1. A woman (not our usual very sweet and nice coordinator Lily) sat us down and proceeded to spend at least 30 minutes telling us about our package and what it's 'lacking' (Funny.. when you guys sold us the package last year your colleague told us how wonderful it was)

2. She showed us before and after photos of other brides and how they can magically change them using photoshop, and how skilled their IT person was.

3. She 'warned' me that the photos I was about to see are NOT yet photoshopped and I may be disappointed with some of them, but she assured me that I will still look good after photoshopping (She couldn't have made it ruder just to get the point across that I don't look perfect hor!)

4. The stack of photos of us that she was holding was so precious that she was reluctant to let us hold them or lay them out on the table the way we prefered. She insisted on showing us the photos 3 at a time, and reminding us how good we looked in each and every picture.

5. Whenever we chucked a photo aside, she'd say she didn't understand why we did not want it. (I don't think it's any of her business). She even said Don't mind me being kaypoh ah (I mind actually) Are you insecure about yourself here? We will photoshop it! Don't reject it la! (I was telling myself to remain calm and enjoy the process with Eugene than to be bothered by her)

6. When we realised we have chosen 2 times as many photos as we should have, she quickly took the pictures away to hide, then proceeded to tell us why we needed to purchase a 2nd photo album for so many photos.

7. When I told her we are NOT getting a 2nd album and I want that pile back to discard more photos, she told her manager and immediately he came over and told us how important a 2nd album will be to us (Yah to level that table with 1 short leg?) and said we have to pay like $2800 more.

YAH RIGHT. OVER MY DEAD BODY.

8. I told him firmly that we didn't have any money to pay. (yep it's a lie. If we don't have 2.8K we're really pathetic. But no way are we handing it over to such rude people). He told me to use my credit card. I told him I have better use for the money. Now hand over the stack.

9. The woman reappeared reluctantly with the stack of photos and Eugene and I proceeded to discard more photos, no doubt causing more and more pain to the woman judging from her face.

10. A 2nd man appeared (big boss) and he said loudly WHY SAVE MONEY ON YOUR WEDDING! ONCE IN A LIFETIME YOU KNOW! 2K MORE ONLY WHAT. OTHER PEOPLE PAY MORE THAN YOU. AND YOU CHOOSE SO LITTLE PHOTOS, YOUR ALBUM WOULD LOOK UGLY LA! I HAVE TO PAY MY ELECTRICAL BILLS YOU KNOW. YOU CHOOSE SO LITTLE PHOTOS, HOW CAN I PAY FOR THE AIRCON AND THE LIGHTS?!

(Siao ah! That's your own problem! Wat's it gotta do with us!? And if our album will be ugly, why the hell does your package include so little photos in the first place?? Just so that your customers can make ugly albums?!?!?)

11. At this point I was this close to getting up and killing somebody but I put on the brightest smile and batted my eyelids and told him I'm sorry but we really do not want so many additional photos (WAIT! WHAT THE HELL AM I SORRY FOR!?)

12. He gave up and walked away. The woman proceeded to tell Eugene that this kind of money cannot save. The bride would love the photos and he has to spend. Then Eugene told her if his bride wants the photos he will pay. BUT SHE DOESN'T! (bravo Eugene!)

13. Woman sighs (how dare she sigh at us!!!!) and let us relook our photos without saying much. Probably thinking about how much less commission she's going to get.

14. We finally decided on the photos that we want and still exceeded the number a little and have to top up $65 dollars for each additional piece. We paid $585 more but were happy with our choices. The woman by now sighed every 1 minute or so, as if trying to tell us what a huge mistake we were making. We have wasted a total 5 hours with these people and SHE'S THE ONE SIGHING?!?!?!

To be honest, I thought we'd be bought over and end up paying thousands more. Maybe they were trying too hard and rubbing us the wrong way, and maybe we would have gladly handed over the money if the person serving us was kind and gentle Lily.

At the end of the day, these are just pictures. We are happy with having those we like and spending within budget and are contented. The experience of taking these photos with Eugene was more important and real than fake photoshopped pictures on paper.

And the money that we've saved from this? We can buy more thoughtful wedding favours...flowers for the bridesmaids...angpows for helpers.. the list goes on....

To the Boss of my Bridal Studio : I hope your aircon breaks down HEEHEE

The Contemporary Asian Art Fair

Eugene and I went to the Contemporary Asian Art Fair held in Suntec last week. I have never gone to any contemporary art exhibition before, other than those my grandfather used to take part in (he does traditional chinese water colour and oil paintings). As you can tell some of his wonderful genes passed on to me, from the amazing stickmen I can draw.

Anyway, YS's wife MJ gave us 2 complimentry tickets!!!! (That saved us 20 bucks!!)

These are some of the art pieces which caught our attention.

Buddha dreaming of a Starry starry night? Done by a Thai artist.

The Kung Fu babies were really cute.

A woman covered entirely with black hair, like individual strands of hair pasted on the body. And she's wearing a gas mask. Wow. I have no freakin idea what Murari was trying to tell us!

Eugene insisted on taking this. Isn't she breathtaking?

Overlapping Images by a Korean artist.

You know the cow which is flying? If you take a closer look he is actually hum chio-ing! And he reminds me of Moo ice-cream.

No these are not real books.

See I told ya!

Imagine the amount of time it took to twist wires into this.

Who is fatter/blacker? Tough choice.

This is my favorite!!!!

Even the shadows were cut out of thin metal. And look at the vibrant colour in the mirror!

Will you ever look at your used condom the same way again?

I don't know if the apple can actually go through the twig when catapulted. But I like the hairy detail and shading on the arms.

Would you buy this picture for RMB 1,000,000? Do you know what the heck it is???

An egg attacked by lots and lots of sperm!!!! If you're trying to conceive rip off your wedding photo and hang this on the wall above your pillows. Guaranteed your sperm will be very inspired to swim damn fast!

I felt so much when I saw this picture. When my two pet clown loaches (Black and Jack) died, I cried.

Yes though they are fish, they are still '3 lives', as named by the chinese artist. People often overlook that.

After walking a bit I saw this , and took a closer look.

5 lives gasping for oxygen from no more than 4cm depth of shallow chair water. How ironic. Is the artist trying to show us how difficult it is to survive in China? Poor fish.

Mama Mia! It's ABBA!

An art exhibition is not complete without some nudity. This costs RMB 5,000,000!!!!!

And this old man was telling somebody that he's got 2 paintings of nude women at home and none of them cost so much....

Ji Ko Pek....

I thought this was serene with such sweet colours. Imagine this in our new apartment with white walls and white furniture.

I just don't get this one. A photograph of sunflowers photoshopped (??) so that the background is all white! And I remember it costing quite a bit too.

According to Eugene this looks very much like one of our friends.

I wonder how he knows how she looks like without pants on.

Turnip body parts . Anyone turned on already?

Somehow this charcoal drawing reminded me of my
grandfather, though I have never seen him cycle or own a bicycle like this.

Same eyes, same nose, same lips.

Imagine the elephant flapping his butterfly winged ears to try and fly away.

A painting that looked like a blurry photograph.

A black salamander with fancy flowers on its tail. It costs SGD 24,000 and was already sold when we asked about it.

A baby one which Eugene and Choey loved! Costs SGD 5000 and comes with the little tatami!

And of course there were many other pieces which were also really nice/thought-provoking/vulgar. And most of them were really expensive!

We were so tired after 3 hours of walking and trying to appreciate each and every display. So noob! They were giving out free Coke Light and Herald Times (??) as well. Weird freebies at an art exhibition. If only they were giving away the baby salamander for free :D

The Best Way to Die

A couple of days back Hobs and I were discussing the best way for him to die. If he is to jump from his flat, someone will still have to scrape him off the ground. And he'll look really ugly with his face split open and brains spilling out. I recall a friend who died after she jumped - the last we saw of her was just before she was pushed into the flames - she had stitches all over her face (Bride of Frankenstein style) to keep whatever's left (not much) inside.

Another friend who hung himself had a deep red mark around his neck when we saw him to say bye for the last time...

(Hey I'm no jinx k. For the record they were not really my close friends.)

It really takes big balls to jump or hang oneself. So Hobs can forget about these 2 options.

I said if he wants to die, go gas himself with carbon monoxide in a car. Sweet way to die - painless, peaceful and he'll still be in one piece. But he mei chu xi... no car...

Then I told him go take a bath and cut his wrists and let the blood flow... but he said no bath tub at home -_-

Wah lau! This guy want to die still so troublesome!!!!

You know what Hobs? Like what YS said at the train station:
"The best, most considerate way to die is to open up the coffin, jump in and close the lid."

No la, forget the coffin (it's expensive). Just dig a hole and jump in. We will be waiting up here with shovels to fill it up for you!

XD

The Hollywood Feeling

I had some people asking me what happened to my blog. It's so flattering cos I had no idea it had so many 'readers', judging from the average number of comments I get after every entry (0) I thought only Eugene reads my blog. And that's just cos he needs to check if I upload any sia suay photos of him.

And you know what else is flattering?

.

.

.

.

.

TAKING OUTDOOR WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHS ON A PUBLIC HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We were getting all panicky when people started telling us how bad our phototaking day was. It was scheduled on 1 Oct 08 aka "Hari Raya/Children's/always-rain/ren hen duo" day.


For 2 days in a row before the session it poured like mad and we thought SHOOTS we'd be posing under an umbrella with very flat hair.




Well guess what! It was a magical day with no rain (the few drops that came and went at 7.30pm don't count)- just lots of love in the air and (Indian) tourists on the streets.

We had to go to town in our getup to shoot the city skyline. And everyone was amazed to see us posing, pouting, kissing and running with the dress held up to my knees. 2 aunties were so kaypo that they hung around our photographer just to steal a peak from his camera. Groups of Indian men took out their mobile phones to take pics/videos of us. One asked if he can 'participate with' us (???) and Eugene told No it's OUR wedding photos. He shrugged sheepishly before walking away.

Everywhere we went people stared and smiled. This must be what TV stars/MPs/cute puppies feel like when they walk on the streets - extremely important and loved by the whole world.

This illegal pic was taken by Eugene using his phone.

Choey passing me my flowers (so cute)

No illegal pics of Eugene unfortunately... Though he looked really good in his tuxedo!! *beams*

Ok la one pic showing the groom.. if not later he angry.

Wedding Bells Blues

Who said getting married is expensive and complicated?

We can just go to Fort Canning Hill, sign, and everyone clap clap, then eat springrolls and cheng teng, take some photos, then long zhong deng chu koon. Short, sweet and happy.

But noooooooo.. we have to be conformists.. must follow traditional Singaporean chinese style...

Look at what we've done so far (and we took damn long to settle all these la!!!!!)

Wedding date - check

Banquet venue - check

Banquet menu - check

Wedding rings - check

Wedding gowns - sorta decided. Except for outdoor shoot gown, tea dress and Eugene's suit.

Guest list - trying to keep the numbers down.

And our wedding is next February. Seems like we're quite on the ball and well-prepared, yes?

Apparently NOT.

Cos in this country, you can't get married if you haven't



FIRST

GOTTEN

A

BLOODY

FLAT



"AIYOH!!!!!!! No flat HOW TO GET MARRIED....?!?!" shrieks X
(let X be relative/friend/colleague)



It's getting a weeeeeeeeeee bit annoying.

Not like we're not trying! How bout you find one for us hmmm?

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

The Optimist calls me Prophet Pan

Eugene the (Mindless) Optimist sounded so depressed just now.. it was heart wrenching. He kept talking about the unfair nation, our bleak future and how he can take his revenge on those (I think he meant HDB) responsible for our plight.

We've been trying to ballot for a new flat since last year. And this time round, as 3rd-timers, he was so so so so sure we'd get a Commonwealth flat. I did warn him that with our lousy queue number (better than last time, but still lousy), we'd probably get nothing in the end again, and it'd be better if we didn't get our hopes too high. Aaah.. Pessimist Pan, he said and waved me off. He brought us to recce our future home and we even talked about what we could buy from Sheng Shiong, the ah pek supermarket, to prepare his favorite ah pek dinner. It's bad, developing feelings for something which you're not sure if it's really going to be yours for long... like a new boyfriend, or a pet fish. We sank too deep.

We have the dream, like all the not-so-rich-but-geh-kiang-wan-to-be-married couples have, the dream of a nice little place of our own, just right smack beside the MRT station- so we don't have to get a car so soon, hence also doing our part to save the earth by preserving its depleting fossil fuels and not contributing to global warming (>_<). Commonwealth was the perfect place to realise this dream.

Then when I told him just now that a friend of mine, a 1st timer, managed to get the flat, he was so upset.

"This just means we're destined for elsewhere better," I told him.

"Where, Prophet Pan?"

"Which ever place we're getting next time. "

"When is next time?"

"When we are richer and have the money for a resale flat... condo... or landed... heh..."

"Ok. So that's when we're... 35? Good. We'll have the money to buy that. But will we have the money to buy the time we would've lost?"


Unfortunately, Prophet Pan doesn't have an answer....

What happened to my Optimist???? :(

Read. It can change your life.

wow it's kinda dusty in here *coughs*

Starry was complaining that there's nothing new for her to read in my blog anymore..

Well speaking of reading...


I was telling Anthony the other day, while I was eating his raisins, that they always remind me of one of Roald Dahl's stories, and he said


Wow I didn't know you read!

Grrrrrrrrrr.......

LAO NIANG READS K!

On the first day of school, when I was in Primary 1, all we needed to do for English class was to COLOUR Nimmy the Alien and his spaceship. (teachers take note: always conduct quality lessons k)

Wow. That was Difficult. -_- And I wasn't prepared as I didnt have any colouring material.

This girl beside me, who has been boasting to everyone that her mom teaches in the same school (so we should worship her cos she's special), took out a glorious set of colour pencils, 36 colours in all, still unused and looking very fine in their box.



I asked meekly to share her pencils, and she gave me an extremely poisonous stare!



Well what was I thinking? I was looking very plain sitting beside the Princess, with her stupid long hair tied in stupid pink ribbons, and her stupid pink My Little Pony bag. My hair was plaited with simple black rubber bands and my bag was a squarish dark blue canvas one. Obviously I wasn't good enough to share her pencils, and much less be her friend.




She handed me a GOLD colour pencil, and quickly shifted the box to her side of the table such that it was out of my reach, and started to colour. It was like:

Hey, you got your pencil. Now use it and quit bothering me.

I had to colour the entire picture in 1 colour. Nimmy, his spaceship, the grass they were standing on, the tree, the sky and the sun. And when we handed up our work, our teacher frowned at my picture and I could've sworn I almost heard a sigh, which meant

Oh wow. Another one of those retarded kids in my class this year.


Then, during recess, a classmate's mom approached our table and said to Little Miss High and Mighty, Oh wow, your mom's a teacher? You must be really smart.


She proceeded to take out a book and asked, "Can you read this?" she asked, pointing at a random word in a book.


"Eh....eh.....eh........" was the retarded reply.


I decided to kaypoh, and without missing a beat, announced,


"Cucumber"


Suddenly I was the centre of attention. And the 'teacher's daughter' was nudged out of the conversation, and later I heard that she actually ran out crying and without looking fell into a ditch and messed up her hair and was too ashamed to climb out and so lived there forever.


No. Actually, she switched schools during the 2nd week or something. Probably couldn't take the intensity of Primary 1 and went back to nursery to play with pink toys.






That incident changed my life. And hers.


Anyway, I'm proud to announce that I went to the library yesterday, after 1 year!!

When I stepped in, I felt strangely happy and at peace. That happy feeling didn't last very long cos it became too cold, and I was already wearing a cardigan! And they were complaining about shopping malls wasting energy. They should check out Marine Parade Library!



And there were adolescents sitting around in some Starbucks-wannabe cafe and reading/doing homework and chatting and looking cool while trying to keep warm by sipping 6-dollar mochas. Duh. What happened to the good old library with just books and tables and chairs and quiet people who read?


Anyway, since it was too cold to stay and browse, I picked up 6 books, 5 of which were recommended by the library, and 1 was about wedding photography.

Maybe I'll talk about the books in my next post!

(do i hear some snoring already?)

Highlights of January 2008

Eugene drinking his Mos milk tea at the same time nourishing the tree growing out of his head

"Hmmmm ... should I get the tight-fit one or .... "

To get a closer picture of him, I went into the changing room and locked the door, to his dismay. He was warned about the faulty lock and thanks to me we were locked inside for a good 5 minutes before their staff heard my cries and let us out.
Eugene just stood there and -_-''' the whole time. How helpful.

A softball cupcake with his name on it. But instead of his no. 18 they ran out of green icing and gave him the unlucky 13 :S

There was a cake underneath the cap!! But no one had the heart to eat it.

Rip off of the Month: Long John's Silver (outside Plaza Sing) $2 mini garden salad.