RANTS RANTS AND MORE RANTS

Feeling really really really really really low.

Just returned from the trip to malaysia with my students. Was already having sleepless nights at least 3 nights prior the trip wondering how they would perform and if anyone would lose a leg or something.

The trip went preeeeeeetty ok considering the rubbish job done by the tour agent. The biggest sabo was that the orphanage seemed to have no idea that the students were coming and seemed pretty pissed at us for screwing up their carnival with our arrival. Can you imagine the scene: my students, after weeks and weeks of practising, travelling all the way from Singapore, all ready to perform for the children, were as good as being told point blank that hey we don't need your music now. And the tour agent himself assured me again and again that everything is arranged. They know you are coming and performing and they are eager to have you. You will help out with other chores as well and donate some items, yes, don't worry, everything is taken care off. We have arranged for many schools from Singapore to help out over there before so everything will be fine.

Yah, my ass.

But the students played well enough and the head mistress told me herself at the end of the session that she was glad we came because our music inspired her children who were just being started on a music enrichment program, and wished we had brought more songs with us. So yeah it turned out well. The school exchange was quite alright too because I have insisted on personally arranging it with the student leader and the only surprise we had was the wonderful planning done by our host. Everyone enjoyed themselves I guess.

Except me, cos I was constantly on my toes mentally preparing for more and more screws ups. And lo and behold, there were other surprises in store but I really don't want to go into that now.

Next time, be it Africa, North Pole or Timbaktu, I will liase with the organization myself. The tour agents can just sit back and shake leg and slot in good food, good coach (not one which has a fantastic suspension which makes you feel like u're in the middle of the freakin choppy china sea) and use the time freed up from liasing to interview and select quality coach drivers. (our instructor was trying to help the driver with the route back to school, and was chastised for being unclear with his directions. Hello! Whose job was it to know the way around in the first place!??!)

But we managed to pull it off admidst the sh*t and I didn't even freak out once. I think.

Now that I'm typing this, I'm reminded of why I never go on guided tours in a huge group anymore.

Well the best part is this -

I left my luggage on the bus. Yup. My bag is gone gone gone gone. Bye bye.

And I'm pissed because I only have 1 comb and it's in that see-saw bus and I dunno when I will finally be able to comb my hair. I'll probably have to buy a comb first, but that would mean I have to leave the house with messy hair. And I don't want to leave the house looking like a siao zar bor. It's a chicken and egg situation.

And you would think a warm shower at home would make everything right? Nah. My towel was nowhere to be found and there was just a little more than half a drop of shampoo left in the bottle.

Then somehow since our painful ride back from Malacca, I have been thinking of how I pushed my french horn and piano aside ever since I started teaching. My students can probably make better music than me now.

Maybe I should quit my job and do my own thing for 3 years.

And eat what?

Oh I know what I'm doing really well: I've achieved Mastery of Invisibility after just 3 days in Malaysia. I don't think I'm living in a home anymore.

And I'm tired as it's already half past 3 in the morning. But I'm afraid to sleep cos I'll dream about work again.

Nah. I really want to koon. Thanks for hearing me out. I feel better already.